I came across a Reddit post the other day from a three stripe brown belt who said something that I found really interesting.
He said that he wanted to get a black belt in Jiu Jitsu because he knew it would be hard, and wrote:
“I didn’t really start liking BJJ until about mid-purple. I always just considered it cardio that was fun enough that I could stick with.”
That hit different.
Not because it was surprising, but because it was honest. For a lot of us, the belt was the goal long before the art ever was. We showed up with ambition. We wanted to be tough. Respected. Skilled. Some of us wanted the challenge. Some wanted the identity. And some of us just wanted to win at something.
But love for the sport and the art? That came later. For some, much later and unfortunately, lots of people who chase the belt quit when they realize it’s not going to be fast or easy.
The Goal That Got You in the Door
I started training after my best friend, who had already been training for a number of years, kept suggesting I switch from powerlifting to Jiu Jitsu for better overall health.
I didn’t love Jiu Jitsu at first. I gave myself a goal: I wouldn’t quit for the first three months. And I didn’t.
Even after that, I still didn’t love it, but I gave myself another three months. And after that? Well, to be honest, I was falling in love with it. Not because I was chasing a belt, but because it was challenging. And because I found a community I didn’t realize I needed.
A lot of people assume that if you’re showing up every week drilling, rolling, pushing through injuries and frustration, you must love Jiu Jitsu.
But sometimes, what we really love is the idea of becoming great at something. The validation. The transformation. The person we hope to be on the other side of the grind.
There’s nothing wrong with that. For a lot of us, the belt is what gets us in the door. What keeps us coming back when nothing else does. But chasing a belt and falling in love with the art are two different things.
When the Switch Flips
Then one day, something shifts.
Maybe it’s in the middle of a round where everything just clicks.
Maybe it’s watching yourself recover from a bad position calmly instead of panicking.
Maybe it’s when you catch a move that used to confuse you and you land it without thinking.
That’s when the belt fades into the background.
And you realize: you’re not just training Jiu Jitsu anymore.
You’re starting to feel Jiu Jitsu.
I’ve had a number of moments like this. Times when I easily handled an athletic 20 year old or dominated a former wrestler I thought I wouldn’t stand a chance to get. Times when I felt like I was in a video game and not just the nail being hammered.
As the brown belt I mentioned earlier added:
“Around mid-purple belt I started to notice that white belts were starting to feel ‘effortless.’ That’s when I started feeling like I might actually not suck at Jiu Jitsu. I really like it now. It’s super fun, but my primary goal is still getting a black belt. Hopefully getting it doesn’t cause me to lose motivation.”
You Don’t Have to Love It From the Start
I love training. It doesn’t always love me back though LOL.
I’ve had my share of injuries and frustrations that made me question if I should just give up. But I don’t. And usually, those thoughts are fleeting. After a day or two, I’m back on the mats, happy to be there, even on the days where I feel like I suck at it.
If you’ve been training for years and still aren’t sure how you feel about this thing, you’re not alone. You’re not doing it wrong. You’re just on your way to something deeper.
The love doesn’t always come during the honeymoon phase.
Sometimes, it’s slow.
Sometimes, it only shows up when your ego quiets down enough to notice it.
But when it does come?
You stop needing to impress anyone.
You stop fearing bad days.
You just show up, because you want to. Because it grounds you. Because it’s yours now.
Final Thoughts
For some of us, the belt came before the love.
But the love? That’s what keeps us here.
Jiu Jitsu doesn’t have to be love at first sight.
Sometimes it’s more like that relationship that starts off rocky with misunderstandings, growing pains, and hard lessons, but becomes the one that changes you forever.
So, keep chasing the belt if you want.
Just know that somewhere along the way…
you might find something even better.
Grappling with Jiu-Jitsu 